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Post by CoachWeitz on Feb 21, 2015 10:58:33 GMT -6
I’ve always been a big believer in relationships with players being an essential part of coaching and have always worked to get better in that aspect. With all the work I feel like we (or at least I) do on X and Os and technique I think this is one area where I don’t do enough research in. So with that being said what are some things you do to develop relationships with players? There are obviously the basics of being around and working with them through football and school and anything going on at home but what else have you done that you’ve found successful? Are there any resources you’ve found that have helped you?
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Post by coachphillip on Feb 21, 2015 11:03:18 GMT -6
I'm always at practice fifteen minutes early, when the kids are just milling around on the field and waiting for stretches to start. I talk to kids the whole time leading up to practice. And NONE of it has to do with football. We talk about tv shows, movies, music, video games, their girlfriends, their tests coming up in school. We BS up until it's time to start getting lined up. Doesn't seem like much, but you may be the only adult in that kid's entire day that actually takes the time to ask him how he's doing and truly listen. That's my biggest tool in building relationships with my kids.
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Post by blackknight on Feb 22, 2015 19:52:26 GMT -6
I made a point to have a one on one sit down with each returning senior.
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Post by spreadpowero on Feb 22, 2015 20:14:14 GMT -6
Let them know that you care about them off of the field as well as on the field. If they play other sports, attend those games. I go to all of our home boys basketball games. Ask them how their classes are going. I have tutored some of our players in both social studies and science. Ask them what they want to do after high school. Be there for them when they are facing tough situations in life. Let them know that you are there for them if they need it.
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Post by rabbitdundied on Feb 22, 2015 23:44:48 GMT -6
Me and my position kids have went out to eat twice since off season has started. Yes I foot the bill it cost me around a C note but they are all over me to do it again next week.
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Post by coachjm on Feb 23, 2015 5:00:07 GMT -6
Truly care about your players more then you care about their output or your teams results and spend adequate time giving them the attention they would get from someone who truly cares for them and the relationship piece takes care of itself.
Our kids just want our attention and their lives to be viewed as important, if you invest your life into helping them instead of (some folks do this) view them as pawns in your game of being a coach relationships will rarely be an issue.
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Post by wingtol on Feb 23, 2015 6:58:08 GMT -6
Talk to them. Its really that simple.
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Post by gammelgaard on Feb 23, 2015 7:05:47 GMT -6
Our HC plans a lot of non-football-related team activities during the off-season. We went on a weekend camp with less than two hours football, and those two hours were the players choice to do some two-hand-touch for fun. We went gokarting. This is my first offseason wih him, but earlier, he has taken the team to boxing, self-defense courses and all kinda fun stuff. He is definately a team guy.
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Post by natenator on Feb 23, 2015 8:30:25 GMT -6
I think I recall reading a quote on here from someone to the effect of: they don't care what you know until they know that you care.
I coach summer community (rep) and it's generally frowned for coaches to be in direct contact with players outside of the game environment but i've generally ignored that because I believe to be a good coach goes far beyond the game.
I follow kids on twitter, i'll sponsor them for various events they are involved in (where possible), I offer to help them with school work, etc. I simply try to show I care more about them away from the field than I do on the field.
After the last game of every season I give all my defensive players a hug and tell them how proud I was to be their coach. When I give them my final season ending 'talk' i've been known to have to cut it short as I'd be starting to choke and tear up which startles many as I am generally seen as a gruff, tough SOB lol
I don't know what that translates into but I am not doing it as a means to an end
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Post by rabbitdundied on Feb 23, 2015 11:10:06 GMT -6
I will say this. If you are just teaching football you are wasting your time.
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Post by blb on Feb 23, 2015 11:13:37 GMT -6
Attend other school activities players are involved in, including away contests.
After you say, "Hi, how are you doing?" be a good listener.
One of most important things you can give them is your time.
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Post by RoCro23 on Feb 23, 2015 11:22:25 GMT -6
Some of the things I've done in the past:
As a position group during the season we go out to eat. They are responsible for bringing a few dollars to eat on. We don't go anywhere extravagant and I usually let the Sr. decide where we go. We don't have a huge number of options near the school so part of the fun is deciding where we are going.
I have a pool at the house so after 7 on 7 practice, I usually have them come by to swim. It's also a great way to get rid of leftovers because they eat EVERYTHING!
We also have had some pretty good NBA 2K, or Madden battles as well.
@dcohio I like the 2/1 thing and I ordered the book you referenced as well.
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biggus3
Sophomore Member
Posts: 178 
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Post by biggus3 on Feb 23, 2015 11:47:19 GMT -6
X box in the team room. I've done my best to make custom teams with our stuff and our rivals stuff in madden. We have some fun (and heated) times.
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 23, 2015 11:56:45 GMT -6
These are all great ideas fellas
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Post by RoCro23 on Feb 23, 2015 12:09:43 GMT -6
@dcohio NO ONE EVER LIVES DOWN A 19!! That's great. That's a memory that will stand the test of time.
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Post by amakelky on Feb 23, 2015 21:02:49 GMT -6
I will say this. If you are just teaching football you are wasting your time. Realizing this is a sobering but important step in becoming a great coach. |
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 24, 2015 10:16:29 GMT -6
^^^^Spoken like a fellow disgruntled teacher hahaha^^^^
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 24, 2015 13:24:04 GMT -6
I'm with you. I just do what they say as long as they keep signing my checks.
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Post by fantom on Feb 24, 2015 13:27:10 GMT -6
I'm with you. I just do what they say as long as they keep signing my checks. The only evaluation that I ever cared about was whether they offered me a contract at the end of the year. |
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Post by RoCro23 on Feb 25, 2015 9:51:42 GMT -6
@dcohio More parents need to know that they can Opt out of testing.
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Post by coachmonkey on Feb 25, 2015 10:10:06 GMT -6
Talk to them. Its really that simple. I agree, but just wanted to add as adults, or in a respectful manner. We have to model the behavior we would want in our players. Personally I can't stand going to clinics and listening to coaches swearing up a storm. We should demand better from our athletes, and be better ourselves. Whenever I hear coaches swearing I am thankful my sons will not be playing for them. |
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Post by gammelgaard on Feb 25, 2015 16:55:09 GMT -6
Talk to them. Its really that simple. I agree, but just wanted to add as adults, or in a respectful manner. We have to model the behavior we would want in our players. Personally I can't stand going to clinics and listening to coaches swearing up a storm. We should demand better from our athletes, and be better ourselves. Whenever I hear coaches swearing I am thankful my sons will not be playing for them. Do you think swearing in a situation like coaching is a bad thing in todays society? Do you think it's shameful? I'm not a 'swearer' coach, but it just works best for some coaches, and trust me, they get their points through much clearer, than if they'd have to quiet themselves down, and be somebody that they really aren't. And to be specific, do you mean using 'curse-words' intentionally, yelling while critiqueing a player or just plain swearing too much at all times? |
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Post by coachmonkey on Feb 25, 2015 23:25:10 GMT -6
Yes I think swearing is bad working with high school kids. I want kids to keep their cool in pressure situations. I know plenty of coaches who swear, but I personally do not, nor does anyone on our staff. It may slip out from time to time, but we are trying to model being a good citizen/person. A lot of our kids get enough yelling and swearing at home. I want more for them, but that's a choice our staff has made. Sometimes it requires quite a bit of self monitoring. We keep things positive. Our HC has a put up or shut up rule, you either put your teammate up, or don't say anything. This is our third year with this rule. Now it helps our kids in games when they hear anyone on another team get on a teammate. They see that as a sign if them cracking under pressure. It may not, but it doesn't matter as perception is reality.
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Post by agap on Feb 26, 2015 0:00:01 GMT -6
But studies show swearing increases bonding and builds solidarity. And some psychologists have also concluded that people who swear are more trustworthy and loyal.
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 26, 2015 6:49:46 GMT -6
But studies show swearing increases bonding and builds solidarity. And some psychologists have also concluded that people who swear are more trustworthy and loyal. Really? That's interesting |
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Post by coachmonkey on Feb 26, 2015 8:09:23 GMT -6
But studies show swearing increases bonding and builds solidarity. And some psychologists have also concluded that people who swear are more trustworthy and loyal. Go swear at your boss, coworkers and students. See how that goes over. |
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Post by coachphillip on Feb 26, 2015 8:57:30 GMT -6
But studies show swearing increases bonding and builds solidarity. And some psychologists have also concluded that people who swear are more trustworthy and loyal. DCOhio is the most loyal person I know lol. |
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Post by oriolepower on Feb 26, 2015 9:21:28 GMT -6
But studies show swearing increases bonding and builds solidarity. And some psychologists have also concluded that people who swear are more trustworthy and loyal. Really? That's interesting Go ahead and swear all you want. Just don't whine to everyone about how unappreciated and mistreated you are when the school board wants to fire you because you said something you shouldn't. Back to original topic of thread: Be present for the players and they will hang around. They need an adult in their lives that is steady, dependable, and holds them accountable. Believe in them and they will work hard for you. Listen more than talk. Be consistent in how you deal with things. If you preach being respectful than be respectful. If you preach hard work, work hard. James 3: 11-18 |
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 26, 2015 9:52:50 GMT -6
I will say this:
Right or wrong, it's like anything else- if used inappropriately or too often any effect will be diminished.
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Post by hercsdc on Mar 26, 2015 10:07:41 GMT -6
This is a must in our profession. Kids must know that you care about them as individuals more than you do as football players. I would say that 80% of our success has come from the relationships that have built with our kids. They know that we love them and will do anything to help them succeed, but we also will be the disciplinarian in their lives when we have to be. No matter what, at the end of the day, these kids are still kids and even though there may be one kid that testes your nerves or patience everyday, he needs love too. I love this profession!!
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