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Post by 33coach on Jul 24, 2015 10:44:44 GMT -6
Along the same lines as the funny kid stories, i figured we should share some of the dumb/funny stuff coaches you have been around have said (or you have said).
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Post by rsmith627 on Jul 24, 2015 10:46:27 GMT -6
"any time that we run a misdirection their linebackers will bite and run the wrong way." Said with the biggest chit eating grin you've ever seen like he discovered fire or something. You had to be there.
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Post by natenator on Jul 24, 2015 11:10:25 GMT -6
"Be an athlete"
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Post by rsmith627 on Jul 24, 2015 11:13:46 GMT -6
"son, you just got bent over and buttfu*ked without Vaseline." (Proceeds to show the motion)
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Post by coachbdud on Jul 24, 2015 11:40:51 GMT -6
"block somebody"
in my opinion, nothing makes a coach sound more dumb than that phrase
it just tells the whole stadium that you have no idea what is going on schematically, or how to fix his technique.
us coaches do not spend time working on schemes for a kid to just "block somebody"
they have a specific assignment
and it doesn't help the kid in any way
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dman54
Sophomore Member
Learning everyday...
Posts: 212 
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Post by dman54 on Jul 24, 2015 11:49:50 GMT -6
"Stay low and hit the waist of the BC" - I said it....
Next play I go and make a open arm, over the neck, jumping tackle...15 yards penalty...Yes, great example...
(Brazilian Amateur football, yes I play and coach)
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Post by natenator on Jul 24, 2015 11:58:18 GMT -6
"block somebody" in my opinion, nothing makes a coach sound more dumb than that phrase it just tells the whole stadium that you have no idea what is going on schematically, or how to fix his technique. us coaches do not spend time working on schemes for a kid to just "block somebody" they have a specific assignment and it doesn't help the kid in any way Disagree. Sure, plays are schematically designed for certain players to block defenders but there are many times that block isn't always there. Would you rather that player standing around blocking air or working to find someone to block? Same deal on interceptions. Go get a block and block someone are routine phrases. I'd say they have their purpose and don't believe them to be that damaging/dumb to say |
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Post by coachorm on Jul 24, 2015 14:32:22 GMT -6
Was at our middle school for a scrimmage once watching the kids an spotting the ball for the teams. I coach the DBs at the local high school. Anyway the other team scores on our team on a pass to the slot out of flexbone. I asked the Middle school HC what coverage they are in and he said man. So I told him the OLB didn't pick up the #2 wr and that was who scored. The MS DB coach comes over and says no the Corner should have picked up that guy... Mind you the corner is also simultaneously manned up on the #1 wr. I just shook my head an walked away on that one.
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Post by 33coach on Jul 24, 2015 16:15:48 GMT -6
the classic story i tell:
i had an over eager assistant, who didn't really pay attention during games, but was great with the kids.
one game, we are on OFFENSE, and our TE blows up one of the opponent linebackers. injury timeout, trainers. everything.
all of a sudden i see coach, running up and down the sideline saying "we need a linebacker!, we need a linebacker!" looks at a kid, and goes - "get out there you are playing left linebacker".
the kid looks at him and goes "coach, i wont play for the other team".
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coachpsl
Sophomore Member
“Don’t Cuss. Don’t argue with officials. And don’t lose the game.” -John Heisman
Posts: 197
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Post by coachpsl on Jul 24, 2015 16:18:57 GMT -6
Freshman coach has a headset on so he can chart playcalls......just starts screaming on the first drive "FULLBACK! FULLBACK! COACH THERE GOING TO THE FB, I KNOW THIS OFFENSE!" Meanwhile on the field the opposing team was in 11 personnel. Somebody eventually turned off his mic.
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Post by blb on Jul 24, 2015 16:34:14 GMT -6
One of our Sub-Varsity coaches was in charge of Varsity statistics.
His background was in computers.
We had a computerized statistical program.
We won a game closer than maybe we should have.
On the bus on way home he said to someone near him "I don't know what they're celebrating when they lost."
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Post by coachfloyd on Jul 24, 2015 16:48:42 GMT -6
This has happened at two different schools...
Guy is charting plays for us. Play is jet @ 8. Guy writes jet it 8.
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Post by canesfan on Jul 24, 2015 20:49:53 GMT -6
"block somebody" in my opinion, nothing makes a coach sound more dumb than that phrase it just tells the whole stadium that you have no idea what is going on schematically, or how to fix his technique. us coaches do not spend time working on schemes for a kid to just "block somebody" they have a specific assignment and it doesn't help the kid in any way Love to hear that one. The last staff I was on always laughed when we heard that. |
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Post by spos21ram on Jul 25, 2015 13:45:31 GMT -6
The whole "block somebody" line isn't as bad as we make it out to be...depending on the context. I've worked with some very good coaches who I've heard yell block somebody before wedge kick returns and some other situations. I really don't see it as an ignorant comment in that instance. Now if your meeting weith your Oline in between series and your advice is to "block somebody" and that's it then that's a pretty amatuer statement. It's really a nicer way of saying "go knock someone off their feet!".
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Post by coachrdc on Jul 25, 2015 19:54:33 GMT -6
Late game situation, anytime an OC says to a QB, "now, don't turn the ball over..." I was never in position to do this as a player, but now when I hear that over the headset all I want to say is, "naw coach, I'm just gonna chuck it up and see what happens..."
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Post by dubber on Jul 25, 2015 21:42:56 GMT -6
This one was intended to be funny: sitting in a film meeting in college and our linebacker coach is explaining proper pursuit angles.
" don't fight geometry, it's been around for thousands of years"
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Post by newt21 on Jul 26, 2015 8:24:19 GMT -6
Tell ya what, I'm an OL coach, and I've said "block somebody" on a few occasions. When you have a pulling lineman and he gets to the perimeter and his assignment isn't there (counter play), and he stops and turns around to see if the ball is behind him because nobody is in front of him is a perfect opportunity to yell block somebody. Same situation, and he just stops because there's nobody in front of him.
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bl16qb
Sophomore Member
Posts: 118
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Post by bl16qb on Jul 26, 2015 11:07:10 GMT -6
I've yelled it in a similar circumstance. Threw a screen against a blitz, and literally had 7 guys in the backfield on our QB. Our left tackle normally blocks the alley, but there was no one there, so he just stood and looked around. I do remember yelling, "block somebody" and later thinking I could have been more specific, but in that moment it was a sarcastic, Jerry Seinfeld high-pitched voice, "block somebody!!"
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Post by coachbdud on Jul 26, 2015 11:15:33 GMT -6
"block somebody"
yes i agree that blocking someone is better than standing around doing nothing
however telling a kid to block somebody, is not coaching. It is not helping that kid get better at football or understand his assignment in the play
something more specific will do much more to help that kid out
the jack@ss dad in the stands that has no idea what the scheme is can yell block somebody... anybody can
as his coach, a simple, more specific cue will likely help the kid more
for example "johnny step down"
is short, much more specific, and IMO much more helpful to the kid
johnny at least knows where to take his first step now
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hwkfn1
Junior Member
Posts: 258
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Post by hwkfn1 on Jul 26, 2015 11:59:22 GMT -6
How about repeating a phrase? I do it all the time. "Quick feet, Quick feet" never realized how much I repeat phrases until a guy I coached with pointed it out. Pretty funny now that I'm aware of it.
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Post by coachbdud on Jul 26, 2015 13:39:16 GMT -6
How about repeating a phrase? I do it all the time. "Quick feet, Quick feet" never realized how much I repeat phrases until a guy I coached with pointed it out. Pretty funny now that I'm aware of it. Very common Pay attention anytime you hear someone public speaking that hasn't taken a class in it They repeat the same words all the time Mhm Mkay Ok Right Stuff like that Kind of like Mr. Mackey Mmkay My word of this season has been "boom" Never said it before For whatever reason this year it has been something I say outloud as I watch a play and see the desired thing I've been looking for Might be counter and I see the kick out coming Boom Drop back pass and i see wr about to open up I say boom when I'd throw the ball Don't know why or how it started but I know it's brand new Boom |
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Post by fantom on Jul 26, 2015 13:43:20 GMT -6
How about repeating a phrase? I do it all the time. "Quick feet, Quick feet" never realized how much I repeat phrases until a guy I coached with pointed it out. Pretty funny now that I'm aware of it. |
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Post by coachwoodall on Jul 26, 2015 14:10:19 GMT -6
He can't play dead in a cowboy movie
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Post by blb on Jul 26, 2015 14:16:28 GMT -6
(To a less-than-conscientious official):
"How can you sleep with all these lights on?!"
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Post by John Knight on Jul 26, 2015 17:09:55 GMT -6
Shovel pass, shuttle pass, Shuffle Pass, who cares???
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Post by coachrdc on Jul 26, 2015 18:07:29 GMT -6
I had a student during my student teaching that counted the number of times I said "um" in each class, I actually had her put the numbers on the board at the end of each day. It really helped me alot, became a competition against myself to see how low I could get it.
On the field, my go to word has become "Yeeeaaahhhh" (think Cool-Aide man only without the Ohhhhh)
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Post by ksmitty79 on Jul 26, 2015 19:44:18 GMT -6
"got to roll your hips..I'm trying to get you a prom date" or the proverbial "show me 6"" and the OL shows you a foot "son, your girlfriend is telling you a lie"
Quick feet...Quick Feet "Son you will never have a dance partner"
'
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Post by John Knight on Jul 26, 2015 19:55:30 GMT -6
Play the play! I hate that one.
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Post by WingTheT on Jul 26, 2015 20:06:13 GMT -6
"Get him!" or "Don't miss"
There was a MS guy who helped out and would only chime in by saying these things to our defense...
Great way to pinpoint and coach technique to these guys!
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Post by John Knight on Jul 26, 2015 20:50:20 GMT -6
I had a tailback one time that liked to ask questions. We were going through our base plays and how we wanted to handle different looks and he started asking what if they do this and I said we will do this. Well what if they do this, and I said then we do this. He went on for about 4 more and finally he said well then what if they do so and so and I blew up, WELL THEN WE ARE FOCKED IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHITFIELD!!! Next period!
My linemen were dying, not to laugh!
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