Life getting in the way......

[dubber]

I don't know if I have a question here, but would love feedback.......

And yes, I know we get similar threads like this all the time.....

Our staff has been intact really since 2007. I had some college stuff (then a job move) that kept me from the day to day a couple seasons, but I have been on the box for every game.

The other 4 guys (HC, DC, OC, OL/DL) have not changed. Some have been on staff since 2000 (back when I played at the same school). The oldest has been there since 1993.

So, a ton of stability.

When we first started, myself and the OL guy were not married, the DC is not married, and the OC and HC had kids who were mostly in the kindergarten range.

We spent hours pre and post practice working.

Fast forward to 2015.......

I have a child of 3 months.

OL guy has 2 under 2 years old.

OC is now the superintendent.

HC is now athletic director.

In short, time has become more precious.

To complicate matters, the DC and myself work jobs that sometimes demand our absence from practice.

Summers can be very hard on me, and I sometimes only make Monday workouts.

I always feel guilty about this.........we do a GREAT job of picking up the slack for one another, but I still feel awful.

I know the other guys when they miss/are late for practice hate it too, but what are you going to do?

Especially feel bad for our DC.  This is the senior guy on staff, and a lot of the work falls his way.  Really, that man taught me the most about being a good coach.  It's not about X's and O's, it is about showing up and filling water coolers, doing laundry, folding towels, etc.  He really sets the tone for our entire staff.

It does help we added a 22 year old guy to help out......he's into Hudl and laundry, etc.

All 5 of us have the same vision:  State Championship.  We 4 assistants have zero desire to move on or up.  I could be the JV OC for the rest of my life.

I read the horror stories that other's have with their coaching staff environment, and I thank God for mine.

But it is killing us to have to break away.  I know it is necessary, but still.

So I have two thoughts:

1.)  This is temporary.  When the kids get older, and their schedules become more like your's, and you can involve them more in what you are doing, things get better.  My job demands could get better in a few years too.

2.)  I do not think we are losing anything.  All the work gets done.  We get better at coaching every year, so our kids are MORE prepared than in years past.  It's just that I am missing out.

It just sucks that my life is getting in the way of my passion.

[BTW, I love what I do, and even more, I love my son.  Matter of fact, I took him to practice in his stroller last week.  He played DE in our give/keep drill on Zone Read.  So please, no "be a father first" posts......my priorities are straight.]

Anyone else going through something like this?  Any advice?

[John Knight]

[dubber]

Aug 25, 2015 11:50:13 GMT -6 John Knight said:

Good point.

[WingTheT]

Your son is probably a better DE against the zone read than half of mine I deal with...just kidding, but seriously...


I can't say I can give the best advice, but here's by 2 cents:

Definitely take in everything and just enjoy everything (good and bad). It was weird when I stumbled across an article from my hometown and saw that half of the teacher I had in HS and a few of the coaches were retiring.

My old boss told us this and I have taken it to heart. Put you faith (whatever you believe in that gets you going through the tough times) first, then family and football at a close third. Without the first two, most people will get burnt our of football easily and he's seen it happen to some good guys that used to work for him. I'm still a young buck so obviously I'm not retiring anytime soon. I would just enjoy the little things and try to balance it out the best you can until life forces you to take a different path. I believe that I'm blessed and the reason for that is due to having parents that worked their tails off but still did all they could to be my support. Do the same for yourself. Work your tail off and be that rock for your kid. He'll definitely know how much you care once and put in for him when he grows up. He might not be able to express it, but he will know it without any doubt in his mind.

[coachfloyd]

Aug 26, 2015 7:58:09 GMT -6 @dcohio said:

1.) This is temporary. When the kids get older, and their schedules become more like your's, and you can involve them more in what you are doing, things get better. My job demands could get better in a few years too.

This is what it is.

Just like a football game, things are never as good as they seem, things are never as bad as they seem. Just stick with it and play the next play coach.

When your kids get older, it's awesome having them at practice, in the weight room, etc. I still remember when my son was maybe 5 or 6, he's in the weight room with me one day and one of our linebackers says "hey..what are you doing?" my son was stunned and shrugged. The LB says "there are no spectators in the weight room, if you're going to be here, you've got to get your @$$ to work." and put him in a rack. My son looked at me and I said "he's right, get to work."
At 5 years old that was the greatest day of his life. He told his mom about it for what seemed like 2 hours when we got home and the next time we had weights...chit, he was geared up and ready to go. Couldn't wait to get back in there.

I miss those days.

my son did the same thing this summer. 6 years old and did about 125 cleans with a mobility pipe filled with sand and gravel. I didnt say a word to him about doing it or not doing. completely on his own. IT was awesome. 

[dblwngr]

It really does go by so fast! My first year coaching my oldest daughter was a bun in the oven and now she's an incoming freshman at the school I coach at and played at many years ago. Not to mention....dating one of my football players....I figured this day would eventually come......he's a good kid but it's still weird and makes me feel old!

Luckily, my wife and kids love being a part of my coaching life. I took two years off when I got a different job and they were as miserable as me. I guess what I'm getting at is you don't always have to step away if you can involve them in your love and passion. My wife and kids like to hang out at the games with the other coaches families as well a getting involved with helping concessions or making grub for the coaches after the games.

I know not everyone has a bought in family to their programs and understand how though that can be. I definitely count my blessings everyday.  

[dubber]

Aug 26, 2015 7:58:09 GMT -6 @dcohio said:

1.) This is temporary. When the kids get older, and their schedules become more like your's, and you can involve them more in what you are doing, things get better. My job demands could get better in a few years too.

This is what it is.

Just like a football game, things are never as good as they seem, things are never as bad as they seem. Just stick with it and play the next play coach.

When your kids get older, it's awesome having them at practice, in the weight room, etc. I still remember when my son was maybe 5 or 6, he's in the weight room with me one day and one of our linebackers says "hey..what are you doing?" my son was stunned and shrugged. The LB says "there are no spectators in the weight room, if you're going to be here, you've got to get your @$$ to work." and put him in a rack. My son looked at me and I said "he's right, get to work."
At 5 years old that was the greatest day of his life. He told his mom about it for what seemed like 2 hours when we got home and the next time we had weights...chit, he was geared up and ready to go. Couldn't wait to get back in there.

I miss those days.

Thank you for this......

Suppose I should mention that my wife also films the games on Friday nights, and that I am on the box right beside her.

That makes for conversations like "Did you really need to call that ref a cum guzzler?", but also when we blocked a PAT in overtime to win a playoff game, she jumped in my arms and we celebrated like drunken college kids.

That is cool.

I feel good about that side of it.

I still feel bad that sometimes I miss practice for work....but unless I give up everything to teach, that is the reality of the situation right now.

[pistola]

Aug 26, 2015 7:58:09 GMT -6 @dcohio said:

1.) This is temporary. When the kids get older, and their schedules become more like your's, and you can involve them more in what you are doing, things get better. My job demands could get better in a few years too.

This is what it is.

Just like a football game, things are never as good as they seem, things are never as bad as they seem. Just stick with it and play the next play coach.

When your kids get older, it's awesome having them at practice, in the weight room, etc. I still remember when my son was maybe 5 or 6, he's in the weight room with me one day and one of our linebackers says "hey..what are you doing?" my son was stunned and shrugged. The LB says "there are no spectators in the weight room, if you're going to be here, you've got to get your @$$ to work." and put him in a rack. My son looked at me and I said "he's right, get to work."
At 5 years old that was the greatest day of his life. He told his mom about it for what seemed like 2 hours when we got home and the next time we had weights...chit, he was geared up and ready to go. Couldn't wait to get back in there.

I miss those days.

this ^^
your life has many different seasons in it.. some better than others, some more comfortable than others. Make sure to find the positive each season and make the most of it, and when you look back on it you'll remember all of the positive.

[agame]

Sounds like grown folx problems.. Which any married with kids coach will absolutely agree it is real hard to balance work, family and football all into your days... And some will add faith into that,

A lot of what the op says rings true.. But I will always continue to try to balance
Taking care of my family
Being there for my family
And finding a way to continue my coachin..


We all row the Same boat right coaches..?